At the beginning of the week I felt lost and a little burnt out creatively. I went back to my list of recipe ideas and none of them sparked my interest. So I spent hours scouring the internet for ideas, feeling like my well of inspiration had dried up. Had I finally reached my limit? Or was I just in some kind of funk? I was determined to create something stunning and to reinvigorate that fire inside me. And finally, after a long, jam-packed week, I made a mini blueberry custard tart. Which officially marked the end of summer.

A Mini Blueberry Custard Tart

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt uninspired or burnt out. I think after last week, failing a couple different apple recipes on my way to the delicious apple clafoutis, I started to doubt my talents. Am I good enough? Have I lost my magic? My last painting was a slog, too, which went late into the night and caused a bit of anxiety. So I decided to prepare early. Do a ton of research. And then commit hard to the recipe I would make Thursday. My only goal was to think of something purple to contrast with the gallery of recipes I’ve made of late. 

So I dreamed of lavender. Edible violets for garnish, or that vivid ube hue. I thought a lot about blueberries, too, but the idea of topping my chocolate blueberry cake was intimidating. I had over 10 ideas and finally committed to blueberries, gambling that they’d still be available at the market. After a good work day Wednesday I slept in a little and drove to the farmers market. There’s a new coffee shop on the corner that I’ve been meaning to check out. And the chilly autumn wind encouraged me to indulge in a hot beverage.

Fall Weather + Recipe Ideas

So I had a chai latte. Less caffeine than a coffee, to avoid spiking my anxiety, but enough to put a pep in my step. The warm spices and radiant heat warmed me as I slowly walked through the damp field. Many of the tents are now gone for the season. There are about 1/3 of the regular amount of people visiting. So I took my time and studied my options. I didn’t see any blueberries, so my mind wandered to other purple things. And I was craving something savory. Lazily, I also wanted to be able to eat the recipe for lunch at work the next day so I didn’t have to cook, clean, and then prepare another meal.

So when I saw purple bell peppers in a wicker basket my mind started to churn with ideas. Purple romesco sauce. Purple pasta. Dumplings dyed purple. And then I thought of bao. It sounded delicious – fluffy, light steamed buns on a grey end-of-summer day. I had a jar of yeast in the fridge and a fresh bag of flour. So I bought the purple peppers, determined to make them a masterpiece. But when I got home I sliced them open. The insides were green. And after a quick google search, I learned the color wouldn’t last when introduced to heat.

A Grey Bao Dough

For some reason I also blocked my bao experiment from years ago from my head. It’s very difficult to color the dough. My lobster bao was successful because I used red food coloring, which is very potent. But I also wanted to use natural dye. The peppers would only stay purple raw. So I blended them. With a half cup or so of water. Into a dull purple liquid. I measured my dry ingredients and decided to add some berry juice to liven up the purple color. Which worked great! I felt excited and relieved when I mixed my royal purple liquid. Then, I kneaded the dough in my stand mixer while I cleaned some dishes.

Yet again my stomach dropped after a few minutes when I checked on my dough. It was pale, gray, and faintly purple. The color would dull further in the steamer. So I decided to pivot and make a purple filling instead. I had one purple pepper left. So I scoured my fridge and pantry for purple ingredients. I found pomegranate syrup. Blueberries. And blackberries. And I imagined some kind of vegetarian, savory Chinese-style sweet and sour and spicy filling with tang and color from the purple fruit juices. I improvised and cooked for nearly 30 minutes. Tweaking and adding and tasting.

A Busy Work Week

It wasn’t purple enough. But it tasted good. So I spent the rest of the afternoon stubbornly committing to my recipe. Which I knew deep down was already beyond repair. Long story short, I eventually stuffed and rolled and steamed and burnt my bamboo and ended up with a solid lunch for the next day. An ugly, grey box of bao. Not nearly good enough to share. Then the sun started to set. I was exhausted. And once again realized I would have to make a second recipe. Late. With many plans for the weekend.

I was set to work Friday and Saturday. To attend a 99th birthday party Sunday morning and help my dad move furniture in the afternoon. Then I had a staff party with my coworkers at dinner time. I still didn’t know what I would make. But I would have to stuff it all into Monday. Again. My anxiety revved, but I tried to compartmentalize it while at work the next two days. I worked hard to try and sell pans and knives. After staying late selling a whole set of pots and pans I drove home sore, exhausted, and worried. I had a vague idea of a blueberry custard tart in my head. Or a blueberry creme brûlée. But if anything went wrong, I would be toast.

Lemon Blueberry Custards

My mind wandered to 2018 when I was fresh out of college and worked as a private chef on a remote Maine island for a week in August. It was fresh out of a Stephen King novel – a grand white mansion in the middle of a desolate island. Only accessible by a 60 minute boat ride. I lived in a creaky, dusty room where I kept my phone on the headboard of an old twin bed. I woke up at 6 each day to start breakfast. The guests were all artists and helped us with dishes. I took an afternoon one day to paint the gorgeous view. But one night I decided to cook lemon and blueberry custards for dessert. In the wood stove.

I topped them with macerated Maine blueberries. One woman declared they were the best custards she had ever eaten. I remember that night, after dinner, looking at Mars and a cluster of stars in the inky sky. Proud of myself for making something so delicious in such difficult circumstances. So I pumped myself up, remembering that I have a lot more tools at my disposal now. A double oven. 4 burners. A whole day of trial and error. So when I woke up Sunday I decided to just tackle the blueberry custard tart idea. Using my 4” mini tart shells from work that I bought myself for my birthday. And I realized I could use my homemade blueberry jam from a few weeks ago instead of buying another pint.

Creative Inspiration

Everything started to work, thankfully. My creativity was sparked by a very cool cookbook I bought at work. Imagine a whole book about mussels. By a 3-Michelin star chef in Europe. Gorgeous photography of vast oceans and remote islands, gourmet mussel creations worthy of hanging in the Louvre. All it took was seeing someone else’s perspective to reinvigorate me. He plated things in such an artful and colorful way. And I started to buzz with ideas. I trusted myself. And started my blueberry custard tart recipe with a cinnamon oat crust. Half oat flour, half whole oats. Sugar, cinnamon, and grated butter.

It came together into a nice ball of dough. And it smelled like a delicious oatmeal cookie. I spent a few minutes pushing the dough into the crevices of my tart tins with my fingers as my mom cooked Sunday breakfast. Finally I had a beautiful tray of raw tart shells ready to chill. And I preheated my oven. When the oven dinged I took the crusts out of the freezer and baked them as I prepared the filling. I wanted to make a simple blueberry custard, like a creme brûlée or pasteis de nata filling. So I started by blanching egg yolks with sugar and salt and boiling cream on the stove. It all came together into a classic creme anglaise. And I added two scoops of blueberry jam for color, flavor, and pectin, which would help thicken it.

A Bright Purple Custard

The custard was a beautiful light purple color. Slightly less vivid than I had dreamed, but I persisted. And when the tarts baked the custard deepened in color. I gasped with joy when I saw them – a vivid royal purple color. A little wobbly in the middle. So much better than I expected. The tart shells came off beautifully and I was almost in disbelief as I studied my finished custards. They smelled of warm fall cookies and summery lemon-blueberry custards. Nothing had gone wrong. And it was only 10 am. I wrapped each blueberry custard tart and placed them in the fridge for the rest of the day to set. 

I made it to the birthday party and even brought flowers from my garden. Then I took a long walk with my mom before it rained. And I enjoyed a leisurely lunch with new TV shows and even a cozy afternoon nap. All before our staff party. I was so excited as I drove, somehow conquering a recipe that intimidated me for days like it was nothing. I was overthinking. Of course I hadn’t lost my spark. My creativity will always be a part of me.

A Light + Warm Blueberry Custard Tart

The next day all I had to do was make whipped cream. It took no time at all. I added jam, a touch of maple, and lemon and salt for flavor. And yet again I marveled at the perfect purple color. I garnished my tarts with blueberries and basil and leisurely photographed them as the sun washed through the trees. I ate a delicious, delicate purply pastry for breakfast and felt proud of my accomplishment. They tasted heavenly – light, creamy, and fruity. Lemony. And the cinnamon oat crust was chewy, warm, and the perfect contrast to the airy custard. The color was magical. And I couldn’t wait to paint.

So my stressful and anxious week, filled with grey skies and bao, turned out to be beautiful. I’m reflecting today on how lucky I feel. And how beautiful it was to see a friend turn 99. Her small house on the island I grew up working in was packed with friends, neighbors, and family. There were kids playing in the yard and plates on plates of braised meats and pasta salads in the kitchen. We were shoulder to shoulder. The birthday girl, one of the 3 octogenarians I used to eat lunch with every Tuesday, was bright, alert, and happy. She and I are the only ones left from those Tuesday lunch parties. I held her hand as she kissed my cheek. I dreamed on the way home of living that long of a fulfilled, happy life.

Relaxation + Planning

And now I have time to relax again. To reflect, and to plan for my next recipe. I’ve caught up on sleep and scoured my new cookbook, which has filled my head with creative ideas. My favorite show starts this week. And I finally feel like I’m fully ingratiated into the team at work after only starting 4 months ago. Fall weather is approaching and I’m filled with gratitude. For my family, friends, health, and a plethora of good food. And I’m reminding myself that cooking and baking don’t need to be complicated. I’ll be making something warm and comforting and easy. Something filled with chocolate.

Thank you for reading! Be sure to check out my Etsy for 100’s of recipe cards and watercolor art prints. Use code THEFORKEDRING for 25% off. See you next time!

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Blueberry Custard Tarts

Cinnamon oat crusted tartlets with blueberry custard + whipped cream

Course Dessert

Cuisine American, French

Keyword blueberry, custard, tart

Prep Time 1 hour hour

Cook Time 40 minutes minutes

Servings 8

Author theforkedring

Ingredients

• 1 cup oats
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1 1/2 tsp kosher salt
• 1 stick unsalted butter cold
• 6 egg yolks
• 1 1/2 tbsp lemon paste
• 3 tbsp blueberry jam
• 1 1/3 cup light cream
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• Heavy whipping cream

Instructions

• Add 1/2 cup oats to a large bowl. Blend the other 1/2 cup of oats in a blender until a fine flour forms. Add to bowl of whole oats.
• To the oats, add 1/3 cup sugar, ground cinnamon, and 1/2 tsp kosher salt. Then, grate cold butter into the bowl and work into a dough.
• Fill and press dough into 8 mini 4” tart shells. Freeze shells for at least 10 minutes before baking.
• Preheat oven to 350°F. Bake tarts for 15 minutes until lightly golden brown. Press centers of shells down with a heat-proof cup to flatten.
• Lower oven temperature to 325°F. In a large bowl combine egg yolks and 2/3 cup white sugar. Whisk vigorously until light and fluffy.
• Add lemon paste and blueberry jam and whisk to incorporate. Heat light cream and vanilla in a large sauce pot over medium heat.
• Once cream is steaming and bubbling, remove from heat and gradually add to the egg yolks and sugar. Whisk vigorously until fully combined.
• Pour egg liquid back into the sauce pot and cook over medium heat for 5-10 minutes, until lightly thickened.
• Remove from heat and let cool. Once lukewarm, pour into the cooled tart shells.
• Bake tartlets for 20-25 minutes until the centers are very slightly wobbly. Remove from oven and let cool to room temperature.
• Cover tartlets and let cool in the fridge until cool and set. Top with whipped cream and berries.

Notes

• If you don’t have lemon paste, use the same amount of lemon juice, but add to the custard after tempering the egg yolks. 
• To make whipped cream, simply whip heavy whipping cream with a little sugar or jam, lemon juice, and a pinch of salt until thick and spoonable.