It’s the end of blueberry season in Maine. So I knew it was time to use them after eyeing the beautiful blue jewels all summer. I found a pint in the back of our local farm stand and brainstormed ideas. Blueberry pie. Galette. But ultimately I was craving chocolate and missing that magical combination from my chocolate chip blueberry cookies of last year. So I decided to make a chocolate blueberry cake in a loaf tin, topped with blueberry glaze and a bright pink flower from my garden. 

Chocolate Blueberry Cake

Summer has flown by quickly. Especially after starting a part time job at a cooking store. I’ve had many drives to and from the store listening to podcasts and music and thinking about food. Usually I rush home and water my garden, which now feels like a part time job. I spent the early part of summer lifting bags of soil, shoveling loam, and planting seeds. And I’ve finally grown a beautiful array of flowers and vegetables. I don’t regret planting a huge plot for the first time in the back yard, but watering the whole thing takes time. 

I’ve been thinking about topping a cake or another recipe with one of my flowers for a while. They are technically edible, and are the hummingbirds favorite spot to get a drink when it’s hot out. I accidentally chopped the head off a pale pink Zinnia while watering on Wednesday. To my relief, it survived for a few days in a bowl of water. But it reminded me of my plan to use them as a garnish. I think a lot about color, too, as a painter and artist. So ideally, my recipe this week would be dark with pops of bright magenta. A perfect contrast to the fresh green summery colors of my basil panna cotta and zucchini pasta. 

Blueberry Muffins and Other Ideas

I talked to my coworker on Wednesday about options. With a batch of homemade pie dough in the freezer, I contemplated making a grand blueberry galette. But it didn’t excite me. I was craving chocolate, missing my favorite hobnob cookies that I usually buy with a discount each week. We’ve been out, tragically, which I ask about nearly every day. And my energy has been sapped a little after working an extra day each week. I didn’t want to spend Thursday, my only day off, strenuously piping frosting, whipping up choux pastry, or decorating cakes. So I opted to make a more simple chocolate blueberry cake in a loaf tin with a bright pink glaze. And fresh Maine blueberries in the batter. 

Not much beats a beautiful loaf cake. Banana bread is my all time favorite non-chocolate dessert (besides tiramisu), so I appreciate a tender, moist crumb with tall sides and a thick, dense slice. I remember making a chocolate banana bread for my friends in college, which was a big hit. 10 years ago now. I dreamed of a chocolate muffin-like texture, filled with pops of acidic, sweet Maine blueberries. Similar to a classic blueberry muffin, but with dark chocolate and a blueberry glaze on top. It would give me time to rest and catch up on some creative projects. And I genuinely felt excited to make a loaf cake. To eat it, too.

Mr. Fry Pan

After a couple great days at work including a staff meeting focused on learning the varieties of frying pans, I felt confident, tired, and happy. For the first time I’m feeling proud of all that I’ve learned. Confident in my abilities to relay cooking and baking knowledge to strangers. And I’ve been making genuine connections with people from all walks of life. It sounds silly, and simple, but I spent nearly an hour talking to a man about frying pans on Wednesday. And I was beaming after. He was so impressed that he said he’s going to call me F.P. (for frying pan). I’m loosening up now too and becoming more of myself around my coworkers. It’s a great feeling.

Along came Thursday and I slogged through the morning, with the goal of simply getting out of bed and going to the farmers market. Usually you hear about the positive side of things. Sunny days, cute dogs, fresh flowers. But to be quite honest, I’ve been struggling with my mental health a little. I’m feeling happy and less anxious, but I’m not sleeping. My usual medication is no longer covered by my insurance, so I’ve been adjusting to a different dosage. Trying to remember taking pills after long days at work. So my body has been drained. My mind has not functioned at its full capacity after dealing with insomnia. 

Picking Berry Stems

So Thursday was not the perfect idyllic farmers market trip. I struggled to get out of bed and to simply get dressed. Then the crowd of tourists and reckless drivers got on my nerves. I normally exchange polite conversation with the vendors and smile at the families with dogs and cute kids. But I put my head down and bought what I needed. I drove to the farm stand after and bought a massive box of blueberries. I used the last bit of cash in my wallet and came home with my bag of goods. Then I ate a half-toasted bagel and caught up on emails before jumping into my recipe. Thankfully, baking helped.

As it usually does. I prepped all of the ingredients for my chocolate blueberry cake, first spending time sifting and sorting through the berries and picking out stems and imperfections. Then I washed them and dried them and set them aside for later. The oven dinged when the temperature made it to 350. And I found myself whipping eggs with sugar in our stand mixer, just how we usually do for banana bread. I decided to base my recipe on that technique, which whips a lot of air into the eggs and then incorporates sour cream and vegetable oil for moistness. I also added a splash of vanilla and subsequently measured the dry ingredients. 

Chocolate Loaf Cake Batter

Sifting cocoa powder, flour, and baking soda / powder is always fun for me. I get mesmerized by the cascading shower of brown and white boxed cake mix-looking powder. It falls perfectly into a soft, fluffy mountain in the metal bowl. When I took the bowl off of the stand mixer base I grabbed a silicon spatula and folded in part of the dry ingredients. Then I added the blueberries, the rest of the dry ingredients, and ended up with a thick, chunky batter. More like a cookie dough. It hit me then that I never bloomed my cocoa powder with coffee or hot water, so I crossed my fingers and added the hot liquid last. Folding and folding until I had a luscious, velvety chocolate cake batter.

Next I lined an old loaf tin which has seen better days. It has water stains and burned inside corners from many banana breads of the past. Many moments mixing batter with my mom on Sundays. I’m so happy thinking about her retirement in a few months. No one works harder than her and I wish she didn’t have to. I can’t wait to see the person she becomes with relaxation and baking banana bread at the forefront of her life. She loves chocolate, which is an understatement, so I was excited to save her a slice or two. I filled the parchment-lined baking tin with my cake batter and put it to sleep in the oven for over an hour. 

Pink Blueberry Glaze

I almost forgot that I was baking something and snapped out of my stupor some time in the afternoon. The kitchen timer said it had baked for 55 minutes, so I checked on my chocolate blueberry cake for doneness. It was still a little wet but cooked on the sides. A nice dome had formed. So I kept my eye on it and basked in the chocolatey smell. While I waited I decided to throw together a simple blueberry glaze for the top. My goal was twofold – to make it bright pink and to have it taste great without too much sugary sweetness. So I used concentrated blueberry juice from thawed frozen berries. The pink liquid had collected in the bag during the afternoon, so I mixed it with powdered sugar, lemon juice, and salt. 

It was still a bit too sweet. So I spent time adding lemon juice and powdered sugar until the texture and flavor was right. Thankfully, the color was spectacular. And just as I finished whisking, the cake was done. A thick, dark brown, crackly-top loaf cake with an intoxicating cocoa smell. The ridges were filled with pooling blueberry juice, camouflaged in with the dark hue of the cake. I could faintly smell the blueberries, too, and couldn’t wait to slice it open. But I had things to do. So I let the cake cool for a good while. I took a walk in the woods and managed to rest and relax. Then I took it out of the loaf pan. 

Growing Confidence and Eating Cake

I was a little surprised, honestly, when it popped right out. Learning so much about baking pans and cooking gadgets at the store has really put into perspective how old and worn a lot of our pots and pans are. The parchment certainly helped. It was still a little warm, so I let it cool further on the counter. But I remembered a trick I learned a long time ago – to wrap a warm cake in plastic wrap. It seals in the moisture and almost steams the inside. I had run out of time and neglected my plants, so I decided to finish my chocolate blueberry cake on Sunday. After my work week was over. My coworkers would have to wait for a taste of the chocolate blueberry cake. But I wanted it to be perfect. 

Saturday was a lot of fun. We made new displays for fall and found ourselves in a giggly mood by closing time. I met my parents for dinner after and ate a delicious chicken sandwich. I looked forward to getting some rest. Sleeping in. But I still struggled to sleep through the whole night and felt exhausted Sunday morning. I spiked my smoothie with coffee and caught up on the Traitors with my dad while my mom exercised. And finally, I decided to decorate my cake. The glaze had thickened over the weekend. And it was still a vivid pink. My cake felt heavy and dense with all the blueberries and chocolate. But it looked incredibly moist and flavorful. 

The Last Week of Being 30

I smoothed the pink crown all over the top as the grey sky crept through our kitchen windows. I sprinkled on a couple blueberries, too, and picked the most beautiful pink flower from my garden. It pained me at first to pluck it, but the idea of painting it later was so exciting. And the color turned my chocolate blueberry cake into a masterpiece. I cut a very thick slice for my photo and marveled at it. And as soon as I was happy with my photos, I took a few excited forkfuls. The cake was rich, dense, and fudgy. But still light and easy to eat. The pops of blueberries were delightful. The fresh ones on top were nice and juicy. I didn’t eat the flower. 

My life has felt especially beautiful lately. Even with the impediments of fluctuating mental health and poor sleep. My garden has grown, literally and metaphorically. And I’m proud of the beauty I’ve created. The simplicity. My lazy afternoons in the sun watering plants and busy Saturdays chatting with shoppers. I’m grateful too for my discipline. Reflecting recently on my 150th blog post, which never seemed possible. When I started I wanted to just continue for a couple months to see if I could stick to it. One of my biggest insecurities is how things don’t typically last a long time for me. 150 seemed like a dream. 

Thank You!

But I’m not burnt out, or tired, or sick of painting and cooking and baking. At all. Even 2 years later. This has been a wonderful platform to write down my thoughts and to process the ebbs and flows of my quiet life. To celebrate food and to share my love of cooking with you. So thank you for being here. And thank you to the boy who started this a couple years ago with no expectations. Full of hope and creativity. I’m proud of you! Next week is my birthday. I haven’t decided what I’m making yet, but it’s going to be good. It doesn’t need to be perfect. 

Thank you for reading. Be sure to check out my Etsy shop for 100’s of my art prints and recipe cards! Use code THEFORKEDRING for 25% off.