This is my 100th blog post. I can’t believe it! This week was also my 30th birthday. Thankfully I really enjoyed it and had a chill, happy day without any of the doom and anxiety I feared entering my 30’s would cause. I feel proud and excited to “grow up”, especially when some people don’t get to. I knew I wanted to make something sweet to celebrate, and to give myself a break from developing my own recipes. So, for my 100th post, and for my birthday, I made birthday donuts. Each had a different topping to reference the flavors from previous blog posts that have inspired me.

Labor Day + Birthday Donuts

The week started off with labor day. A great, sunny day of mostly relaxing, walking, and watching Australian Survivor. I did a little cooking, too, and looked forward to spending Tuesday and Wednesday creating something for my birthday. I’ll admit, at first I felt sad, clinging onto the last moments of my 20’s. But I tried to pump myself up. To see aging as a privilege. I reminded myself that the impossible expectations and standards I’ve placed upon myself were nothing but an illusion. I’ve actually achieved contentment, and happiness, in the last few years of my life. Which not many people can say. I’m lucky.

Turning 30 also means I’m older and wiser. Which is cliche, but true. I feel like I’ve been able to utilize this quieter period of my life, spending time with family, and a lot of time by myself, to truly figure out what I want. My 20’s started with perfectionism at an elite college. I majored in art. Spent my last semester taking extra classes so I could graduate on time. I also worked out over an hour a day and ate mostly cheese-less, bun-less burgers to get in scary good shape. I was lonely, and chasing an impossible version of myself. An unhappy one. After college I started over with few friends in Maine, and I took a full time corporate job.

Reflecting on My 20’s


As many do, or feel like they’re expected to do. I worked in social media marketing, which I had no interest in. Every day I would wake up in a panic, spend 9-10 hours working at a computer in hellish silence, and come home to feed myself oven-pizzas and French fries from the Burger King down the street. I would watch my favorite TV shows to drown out my anxiety and I would nearly cry myself to sleep. I managed to escape this reality with a lot of bravery. And I left my lonely apartment after another year to move back in with my parents and work as a camp counselor.

I was paid breadcrumbs. But I had the summer of my life. I was a vulnerable and authentic mentor to teenage photography students. I lived with them and drove them to-and-from class. We became like a family. I felt like I found my purpose. And then summer ended. I had no job prospects, so I worked as a P.A. at a film festival, which was mostly awful. I made a few hundred bucks for weeks of grueling physical and mental work. But I also performed on stage for the first time with a good friend, who also turned 30 the same day as me.

Donuts + Chocolate Cake

Next I moved back home with my parents. Which I hated. I felt like a failure, and a recluse. I wanted a big, grand life. But then a pandemic hit. Which worsened my mental health. Years went by in the blink of an eye. I was diagnosed with ADHD and OCD. Some days I couldn’t eat because I had trouble breathing. I felt trapped. Claustrophobic. Terrified. I’m proud of the young man that pulled himself out of that dark hole by creating his own opportunities. Greeting cards with my food paintings and recipes. A travel program. Which was one of the hardest things I’ve done. It allowed me to go to Italy, a lifelong dream, and then Portugal the following year. I made more lifelong friends.

Last year on my birthday, my parents bought my favorite donuts from a nearby general store. Old fashioned birthday donuts with just nutmeg for flavoring and a plain glaze. They both went to work and I was stuck at home most of the day. I didn’t hear from a lot of people. And I felt sad to have such a small social circle at 29. No relationship. No fancy job or savings account or 401k. I was preparing to go to Portugal, which was exciting. And I had my blog to work on. I made chocolate cake and watched Scream 6 to distract me from the horror of my real life.

Freedom + Free Time

Lately I’ve realized that the boredom, the peace, the comfort, and the freedom was the life I actually always dreamed of when I was miserable at my full time job. When I was writing essay after essay in college and not taking a moment to breathe for 20+ years. I’m scared of the quiet, of the loneliness. Of the not knowing. What I’m most proud of in my 20’s is how I looked anxiety dead in the eye and decided to become friends with it. I got to know myself. On a profound and deep level that many people may never experience in their lives. I have spent collective months studying who I am. What I want. Where I want to be.

Ironically, I decided that I wanted to be here. Where I’ve been for years. Because I’ve fallen in love with it. My kind and loving family. The pine trees in our backyard. My car rides to the post office to deliver orders. Walking with my mom. Lazy weekends of painting and napping and baking banana bread. Meatball dinners and watching Survivor. The freedom of being able to cook, paint, photograph, and write. To get all the thoughts out of my head. Birthday donuts. The life I resented and dreaded has now become one that I treasure.

Donut Memories

So, this week, I made myself birthday donuts. Donuts are special to me, and have been with me through many milestones. I remember apple cider donuts as a kid on haunted hayrides with my parents snuggled up next to me in their 80’s windbreakers. My grandfather’s “freezer donuts” that I had for dessert almost every night in the summers. Frosty’s donuts in college, where students visit at 4 in the morning after partying. I never did. But on the last day of college, alone, I packed up my room, went to Frosty’s, and ate glazed donuts at my favorite beach. It was a heavy, weird, and proud day.

After college I gained 30 pounds during my depression, picking up chocolate donuts from the grocery store as often as possible for my post-work freak out sessions. And when I came home to live with my parents, my mom started to give me old fashioned donuts from the general store. The same one my dad walked to as a kid. In Italy we ate bombolini from a bakery on a park bench and the chocolate and pistachio fillings gushed all over the ground. I had to use about 30 napkins to clean my hands, while laughing. Which brings me to now. The 30 year-old me, making my favorite donut recipe for my birthday.

Birthday Donut Dough

The same recipe we made in Italy once. We used teacups instead of measuring cups in our humble countryside kitchen. We glazed them with lime frosting. The recipe was given to me by Stephanie Cmar, a runner up and all star of Top Chef. Who I have always looked up to. We collaborated on a project for charity at the beginning of the pandemic, and she gave me her beloved donut recipe. I have it printed and painted, as a recipe card, which I hold dear in my golden recipe box. I was so excited to bring it back out this week.

It starts with a standard, enriched bread dough. Eggs, melted butter, sugar, salt, milk, and bloomed yeast, mixed into a slurry. Then you add a heap of white flour and listen as the mixer churns. It nearly creeps off the counter as it pushes and pulls the great ball of dough, which is elastic and comes away from the bowl when it’s done. I add a little nutmeg for flavor. I let it rise in the warm sun when it was ready. Outside on the pizza stand my dad made for me.

Donut Glazes + Sprinkles

While it waited, I made several different glazes and toppings for my birthday donuts. As I mentioned, this is also my 100th post. So I wanted to honor my favorite past recipes with the flavor combinations and toppings on my birthday donuts. I mixed a coffee glaze for the tiramisu I learned in Italy. I whipped up a sharp lemon glaze to pair with my fresh basil. An ode to my recent lemon basil cake. I also grated some orange zest on top of chocolate glaze for my favorite cookies, and I showered a donut with rainbow sprinkles for my confetti cake. I also made a brown butter glaze and a maple glaze with crisp bacon for my caneles and pancakes, and a toasted coconut donut for my pina colada ice cream.

After the dough rose I had 10 or so bowls waiting on the kitchen table for me to finish. So I rolled my big, bulbous dough out into a large oval. And I cut circles out with my largest ring cutter. Then I cut holes with my smallest cutter. I had 13 donuts in total. And I gathered the dough scraps all together in a ball to make extra beignets and donut holes. I heated up a big jug of fryer oil in my new dutch oven (last year’s Christmas present) and readied a baking sheet with paper towels.

My 100th Blog Post

As I fried them, I thought back on all the time I’ve spent working on this blog. This passion of mine. All the paintings I’ve created. The words I’ve written. Photos I’ve taken. I told myself when I started that I could give up, if I wanted to, after I made 100 posts. Because I knew if I made it to 100 I wouldn’t want to stop. I was right. After these birthday donuts, I can confidently say my passion for baking and cooking has only grown. I have become exponentially better at art. And my mental health has also improved drastically.

Before my blog I would spend most of my days alone, at home, freaking out about life. Racing against some imaginary clock of impending doom and failure. So many things to accomplish before 30. I used to tell myself I would be on the 30 under 30 list. I never imagined I’d be at my parent’s house still cooking in the same kitchen. Not much money to my name. But since I’ve had my blog my days have been spent with creativity at the core. I’ve gotten out of the house, too, to shop for ingredients, and to go to the farmers market. I’ve spent my time doing what I love – cooking, painting, writing, and getting a good leg workout squatting down to take beautiful photos of my creations. I feel rich with joy and freedom.

Gratitude + No Rush

I’m really proud of how hard I’ve worked. I love this blog. And I can’t wait to continue to 200 posts. 300 and beyond. This is who I am. And it feels like an endless well of joy and creativity and fun. But still, I have my bad days. I have my doubts and insecurities. I’ve never been in a long-term relationship. I’ve lived with my parents for a while. My friends are all living big, exciting lives in other states or countries. But I’ve become such good friends with myself. I’ve had so much valuable time with my family. And I’m grateful for that.

I’m reminded often to not live life in a rush. So, I took my time making these birthday donuts. And they came out great. I glazed them all on a wire rack, marveling at the different colors and textures and garnishes. I felt like a kid in a bakery. Like I had my own donut shop for the day. Finally, after photographing them, I put them in a box for my birthday breakfast and relaxed my 30-year-old body. I looked forward to my birthday, instead of dreading it. And I felt so grateful to anticipate the joys, challenges, and magic of my 30’s.

My 30th Birthday

On my birthday we went to the farmers market. My mom and I. The weather was spectacular. We went out to lunch with my dad and I enjoyed my favorite BLT with fries, sitting outside in the sun. Next we drove to the farm stand I’ve been wanting to visit all summer. Which was a grand labyrinth of fresh produce, homemade pies and donuts, smoked bacon, oysters, and bushels of apples, pears, and corn. They had a sunflower field. And huge orange pumpkins ready for fall. It was magical and warm and reminded me of why I love Maine so much.

When we got home I opened some gifts, which is always fun. We then watched TV shows and talked about tennis. Then we had breakfast for dinner. 30 is just a number. I’ll always love my favorite childhood traditions. Finally we watched the U.S. Open semifinals and I went to bed. Proud, content, and excited for what’s to come.

Eating Donuts + Reflecting

I have a box of birthday donuts, still, that we’re chipping away at. The brown butter ones went first, along with some glazed donut holes and a big fat chocolate-glazed with sprinkles. I made my weekly pizza on the porch and picked some basil. I’m about to go to bed as I write this. But I’m feeling wonderful. Surrounded by love and comfort. Support and kindness. I’m living the life I dreamed of all those years ago. The scared boy who had no confidence has grown into a man who loves himself. Who knows himself. And who is so excited to keep pushing, dreaming, and creating. For the first time in my life, I feel fully content with who I am and where I am. And it’s a great feeling.

If you’ve been with me from the start, or even from a recent post, I appreciate you. I can’t wait to continue this fun, unique, and creative project. For as long as I have fingers to type and paint. I have a long list of recipes I can’t wait to make that never seems to get shorter. I have no idea what will happen in my 30’s, or beyond. But I can’t wait to continue growing into the person I always wanted to be. To continue getting to know myself and to relentlessly pursue what lights me up inside. I was not put on this earth to settle, to fit in, or to do what everyone else is doing.

Thank You!

I hope this blog has helped you feel inspired. Happy. I hope my art and my words have connected with you in some way. Thank you for being a part of this little corner of life where I can truly be myself! Here’s to many more recipes, paintings, and trips to the farmers market.

Finally, please check out my prints and Etsy page for 100’s of recipe cards and food paintings! Use code THEFORKEDRING on Etsy for 25% off.

Print Pin

Birthday Donuts

Fried yeasted donuts, adapted from recipe by Stephanie Cmar of Top Chef

Course Breakfast, Dessert

Cuisine American

Keyword donuts

Prep Time 2 hours hours

Cook Time 15 minutes minutes

Servings 13

Author theforkedring

Ingredients

• 1 1/4 cups milk
• 2 1/4 tsp active dry yeast
• 2 eggs
• 1 stick unsalted butter melted
• 1/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1 tsp kosher salt
• 4 1/4 cups AP flour + more for dusting
• 2 quarts neutral oil for frying
• 1 lb powdered sugar

Instructions

• Heat the milk until warm but not hot (about 90°F).
• Transfer to the bowl of your stand mixer and add yeast. Stir lightly and let bloom for 5 minutes until foamy.
• Add the eggs, butter, salt, and sugar to the yeast mixture. Mix with the dough hook attachment on low until combined.
• Add half of the flour (2 cups + 2tbsp) and mix until combined. Then, add the rest of your flour and knead on medium speed for 3-5 minutes.
• Remove dough from bowl and lightly grease the bowl. Cover and let proof in a warm spot for 1-2 hours until doubled in size.
• Once dough is proved, flour your work surface and roll out dough into a large oval, 3/4″ thick.
• Cut out large circles with a 4″ ring cutter, then holes in the center with a 1″ cutter. Place donuts and holes on two baking sheets lined with parchment paper.
• Cover each tray lightly with a kitchen towel and place in a warm spot to proof, for 45 minutes to 1 hour.
• After 45 minutes of proofing, heat oil in a large dutch oven over medium-high heat, until the oil reaches 375°F.
• Prepare a large sheet tray with tin foil, then cover in paper towels. Fry your donuts in batches of 4 until the bottom side is lightly golden brown (about 45 seconds)
• Turn donuts quickly and cook for another 30-45 seconds on the second side. Transfer to paper towel-lined baking sheet and let cool as you finish frying.
• Once your donuts are done, mix powdered sugar with about 1/4 – 1/2 cup hot water and mix until combined. Optionally, add flavored extracts, cocoa powder for chocolate frosting, or brown butter.
• Your frosting should be the consistency of thick cinnamon roll icing, but still pourable. Dip each donut in the icing and top with sprinkles, cookie crumbs, or your favorite toppings. Place on a wire rack to cool.

Notes

• For a thicker, fluffier donut, roll your dough to 1″ thick before cutting donuts. 
• You can fry your donut holes too! Fry for about 20-30 seconds on each side and immediately toss in cinnamon sugar, or glaze once cooled.
• If making chocolate glaze, replace 3 tbsp of powdered sugar with 3 tbsp black cocoa powder. Add more for a richer chocolate taste, or coffee extract to intensity the flavor.